You're a white chocolate eating, homophobic, conspiracy monger. And you're cheap!

... at least that's what I think Zogby's getting at. Here's another round of (in)famous polls.

The poll started out talking about same-sex marriage in one of the first questions. Then suddenly, things turn:

With Valentine's Day approaching, which of the following are you planning to give to your significant other?
Chocolates
Flowers
Jewelry

So, what's this about I'm thinking. Is Zogby gonna sell my email address to some Vermont Teddy Bear company?

How much do you plan to spend on Valentine's Day?

Please tell me which statement comes closest to your own view-Statement A or Statement B?

Statement A: Valentine's Day is a special day when people can do something special to show someone else they love them.
Statement B: Valentine's Day is just a commercial holiday that benefits the greeting card, chocolate, flower, and jewelry industries.

I have to admit that I like this question. It is a true conservative/liberal litmus test. (Or perhaps it indicates how your last meal went, or last year's Valentine's Day for that matter.

Should women send flowers to men on Valentine's Day if they want to show them they love them?

OK, no the PC police are out in force. I actually don't have a problem with it... but I've never, ever gotten flowers from my wife, and I've only gotten shame and blame for missing a flower-appropriate date. Life is unfair for the conservative male, I tell you!

If your significant other were to give you chocolates for Valentine's Day, would you prefer milk chocolate, dark chocolate, or white chocolate?

Here's another "Wizard of Oz" Zogby question. Is he throwing race in the mixture?! What is he getting at! Unless he's really getting specific with the list and selling it to an individual division at Hershey. (Heaven knows he has to make money somewhewre after his ugly performance in the elections)

Is an Internet romance cheating?

Now I'm thinking that Zogby is just satisfying his own wired fetish.

Which of the following is the greatest aphrodisiac or turn-on?

Physical appearance
Wealth
Power
Personality
Intellect

*Sigh* What about having a tattoo of Ronald Reagan? That would be a turn on to me! (note to wife)

How many people are you planning to buy Valentine's Day gifts for?

Ugh. Enough of the Valentine's push!

How old were you when you had your first sexual experience?

Thinking about your spouse, current significant other, or if you are not in a serious relationship, the person you most recently dated, please rate that person's physical appearance on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being very unattractive and 10 being beautiful or gorgeous?

same scale is above (1 to 10, with 1 being very unattractive and 10 being beautiful or gorgeous), please rate your own physical appearance.

Um, refused, refused, refused (where's the "I'm I Mormon, you idiot!")

Who would you consider the most influential living African American?

Jesse Jackson
Al Sharpton
Condoleezza Rice
Colin Powell
Oprah Winfrey
Bill Cosby
Clarence Thomas
Quincy Jones
Kweisi Mfume
Julian Bond
Roy Innis
Barack Obama
Other
Not sure

OK, so race is the game here. By the way, what order is this list in!?

JFK was killed by a single gunman, Lee Harvey Oswald, who was acting alone.

... Roswell, New Mexico,...

...1969 moon landing did occur...?

...Jon Benet (ben-AY) Ramsey...

...star O.J. Simpson...

You get the picture.

Essentially, I think Zogby is trying to show that Bush voters (they asked up front who you voted for) are racist, homophobic, wackos who believe in aliens, and beat their wives with boxes of white chocolate (or Vermont Teddy Bears).

Go away Mr. Zogby. Go far away!