Nod to RT ot LC: Iraqi Entrepreneur/Artist @ Work

"Kalat, a local Iraqi artist, pauses to look at a memorial he has been working on to honor the fallen soldiers of 4th Infantry Division. The new statue stands in a former palace of Saddam Hussein that currently serves as the 4th ID headquarters at Forward Operating Base Ironhorse."

Slate: John Kerry's Military Records - The PowerPoint version. By Daniel Radosh

John Kerry's Military Records - The PowerPoint version. By Daniel Radosh

Absolutely classic: here's a sample:

2 cents on Ted Koppel and Nightline

Tonight, Ted Koppel and Nightline will spend their entire show running the pictures of soldiers who have dies in Iraq. For all the defenses of Nightline's "The Fallen", there are two issues that Koppel cannot defend: time and space.

Koppel declares: "Just look at these people. Look at their names. And look at their ages. Consider what they've done for you. Honor them."

The problem is two-fold:


1) The timing of this show is wholly unwarranted. To honor our war dead before the war has ended is to enumerate losses with overtones of burdensome warning. Burdensome, because the loss is great to bear. Warning, because we know there will be more dead soldiers. If Nightline truly wishes to honor the dead it would wait until the war is over or at least until Memorial day.


2) The medium for the event is wholly inappropriate. When you visit a war memorial (a good one just opened up on the mall by the by) you go of your own accord, for however long you want, and you look at whatever names you care to look at. The repetitiveness and the length of “The Fallen” lends itself to an elongated dirge, an endless wake of overwhelming loss. TV is not the medium for this tribute.

Nod to BLACKFIVE: Spiritual Warfare

BigBLACKFIVE: Spiritual Warfare: "'There are no atheists in foxholes...' - old military saying"

Derb Radio Rocks - pass it on!

Derb Radio on National Review Online

Response to CT commentator

Licanin,

Wish I had all the time in world to respond at a moments notice. But since you persist... so will I. Somersby it is. Below are responses to his post today.

LET THEM EAT PEANUT BUTTER
First, somersby has issues with the NY Times publishing a letter to the editor. (If I had a nickel) Pick up any newspaper and you find outrageous letters to the editor. Yes, Somersby is correct that the conterversy is about Kerry's first medal. He claims that the fingernail scrape claim "was shown to be blatantly false." There's nothing blatant about it. It is a legitimate question. I think it's pithy and not worth our time... but hardly blatantly false.

Somersby then goes on to berate Maurine Dowd. I'm no fan of Dowd, but what is Somersby's complaint? That she uses rhetoric?! Shocking.

Somersby continues to rail against the media, justifiably I might add. Then he loses himself in the opinions of Woodward and Schweizer about a supposed "holy war." He's entitled to it... but it's no different than what Dowd and Wilogren do. He adds opinion to opinion, spins it his way and then complains when others do the same.

ONTO AL GORE

CREATING THE INTERNET
March 9, 1999; CNN interview “During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.”
TRUTH: The Internet is an outgrowth of a Pentagon program established in 1969. In the 1980s, Gore supported legislation considered favorable to the Internet’s development.

FINDING LOVE CANAL
I think he's clean on this one. It's mostly spin.

UNION SONGS
Still questions here. The laugh was about it being a "lullaby" not about his mom singing him to sleep. Still, I've got no major quarrel here. But it's a bit sketchy

NAOMI WOLF
Being paid between 5 and 15 grand for just the outfit is a joke. But what did she do for the campaign?

CT Discussion about Kerry

Some at Crooked Timber have wondered aloud why no one is harping on supposed "grounding" of GWB:
click here

Could someone please tell me why Kerry’s actions 30 years ago are such an issue and not GWB’s? If there is so much reporting on where Kerry may, or may not, have slept in the 1970s, why isn’t there a good investigation in the SCLM of why GWB was grounded around that time?

My reply:

The problem is: GWB is not on the record denying or defining what the “grounding” was all about.

Kerry’s entire career starts from the premise of his war stories, his denying he threw the medals, his saying he did throw the medals, his saying they were only ribbons, his recanting that statement…

I agree, it’s all frivolous… but notice that most discussions around Kerry are saturated in the mundane and unimportant because he can’t walk a straight line.

Take the Bush DUI. The political last minute hurrah before the 2000 election amounted to nothing because he admitted it fully, took responsibility and submitted to the consequences. If he denied it or gave it wiggle room it would haunt him to this day.

He can claim right-wing attack all he wants… but Kerry’s ghosts are Kerry’s doings.

Argh! Two posts to Slate in the same day! The Horror

Excellent article demonstrating that Halliburton is not the demon that some would want you to believe:

Profitless Profiteering - Why can't Halliburton make good money in Iraq? By Daniel�Gross

Electablog Post+

Electablog*
Campaign News with all the Carbs:
Electablog has an excellent post which can only be read with a glass of wine... And I'm a Mormon... so, being enternally sober, I raise my caffeine-free Diet Coke and raise a toast to you Dave Pell.

Fantastic Piece on Slate by C. Hitchens

Covering the "Quagmire" - Are war correspondents betting on failure in Iraq? By Christopher Hitchens
Can you say bias! Rock on Mr. Hitchens (or is he a sir yet?)

McDermott Omits 'Under God' from Pledge

This just in:

McDermott Omits 'Under God' from Pledge -- GOPUSA: "Congressman Jim McDermott, Democrat from the State Washington, failed to say the words 'under God' as he led the House in the pledge on Tuesday morning. A producer for C-SPAN, the cable channel who covers House floor proceedings gavel to gavel, immediately called the main offices at C-SPAN to relay to them Mr. McDermott's omission when reciting the pledge. C-SPAN Spokeswoman, Robin Scullin, confirmed the omission but also said no calls of complaints were received from viewers."

Not a big deal except when questioned Democrats claim it was inadvertant. Not so... Last month McDermott said:

"I personally don't think it adds anything to the Pledge of Allegiance, and I personally don't say, 'under God,'" McDermott is quoted as saying. "I consider it an infringement that I don't like. I don't like infringements of church and state. And so I don't know that I'm rigid, but I try to be consistent."

Big nod to C&F - love this one

Cox & Forkum Editorial Cartoons: "Food for Dictators"

Stop the cotton gin!

Counter Spin has this great rant about losing jobs in Michigan. It sounds like it's nearly akin to a holocaust. I responded in kind:

Stop the cotton-gin now! Stop electrical innovation! We must stop the bleeding everywhere. Before you know it a computer will be in every home causing huge disuption and putting millions of decent room-sized computers out of work! Think about it... if we continue down this path, computers will be putting cars together not people! Think about the terrible above-average wages that those poor saps in Mexico will be earning! It's outrageous that big companies should be looking to make a profit... I mean who do they think they're working for, the stockholders!

Look, let's be honest. The company outsources it's product production to Mexico saving millions of dollars... and putting those savings right back into making new and higher paying jobs! That is un-American to say the least!

KJL on NRO on Maxine Waters - Incredible!

There were a good number of “Say What” moments at the March this weekend. Some of the most telling were at the pre-rally the night before, filled with music and ranting aimed at modern-day bra-burner wannabe college students and their nostalgic feminist mothers. One of the most bizarre though, came from Maxine Waters. After sending a civil message to the president (George W Bush, go to hell! And while you’re at it, we want you to take Ashcroft with you. And don’t forget Rumsfeld. And please carry along Condi Rice.”), Waters told the rallied, “I have to march because my mother could not have an abortion.”

2004 Women's Art Exhibition at the D.C. Temple Visitors Center

Meridian Magazine :: Arts : 2004 Women's Art Exhibition at the D.C. Temple Visitors Center

Fantastic... too funny

Google Search: waffles

Historical Gas Prices

The Prince is right with his assertion that Gas prices have traditionally come down during election years. The data below is taken from the EIA and indicates the average price of Gas on the East Coast for the June to November for 1992, 1996, and 2000. While not huge, the trend was indeed downward.

Jun 1, 1992 110
Jun 8, 1992 111.4
Jun 15, 1992 112.2
Jun 22, 1992 112.8
Jun 29, 1992 112.9
Jul 6, 1992 113
Jul 13, 1992 112.6
Jul 20, 1992 112.3
Jul 27, 1992 112.1
Aug 3, 1992 111.8
Aug 10, 1992 111.5
Aug 17, 1992 111.1
Aug 24, 1992 110.9
Aug 31, 1992 110.6
Sep 7, 1992 110.4
Sep 14, 1992 110.3
Sep 21, 1992 110.2
Sep 28, 1992 109.8
Oct 5, 1992 109.8
Oct 12, 1992 109.7
Oct 19, 1992 109.8
Oct 26, 1992 109.8
Nov 2, 1992 110
Nov 9, 1992 110.3


Jun 3, 1996 122.9
Jun 10, 1996 122.2
Jun 17, 1996 121.2
Jun 24, 1996 120.4
Jul 1, 1996 119.5
Jul 8, 1996 119
Jul 15, 1996 118.7
Jul 22, 1996 118.3
Jul 29, 1996 118
Aug 5, 1996 117.4
Aug 12, 1996 116.9
Aug 19, 1996 116.5
Aug 26, 1996 116.2
Sep 2, 1996 115.9
Sep 9, 1996 116.3
Sep 16, 1996 116.5
Sep 23, 1996 116.2
Sep 30, 1996 116.1
Oct 7, 1996 115.8
Oct 14, 1996 116.6
Oct 21, 1996 117.5
Oct 28, 1996 118.2
Nov 4, 1996 119.5
Nov 11, 1996 119.7
Nov 18, 1996 121.2

Jun 5, 2000 147.6
Jun 12, 2000 150.8
Jun 19, 2000 155.1
Jun 26, 2000 155.5
Jul 3, 2000 155.3
Jul 10, 2000 154.7
Jul 17, 2000 152.5
Jul 24, 2000 150.6
Jul 31, 2000 146.4
Aug 7, 2000 143.8
Aug 14, 2000 141.6
Aug 21, 2000 142.1
Aug 28, 2000 142.5
Sep 4, 2000 144.5
Sep 11, 2000 147.9
Sep 18, 2000 148.5
Sep 25, 2000 148.3
Oct 2, 2000 147.1
Oct 9, 2000 144.6
Oct 16, 2000 146.8
Oct 23, 2000 146.4
Oct 30, 2000 146.6
Nov 6, 2000 145.4
Nov 13, 2000 145.3
Nov 20, 2000 144.5

Fantastic new ad from the Bush Campaign

GeorgeWBush.com :: The Official Re-election Site for President George W. Bush

Hypocrisy

My big question for hypocrisy:

The left press said there was no coalition and now they say the coalition is falling apart? Which is it?

From Citizen Smash - Reports from the front

Credit: Citizen Smash - The Indepundit: This from a Marine in Iraq:

"USMC Lore: As MAP was entering Ramadi on Wed minaret loudspeakers were pronouncing, 'This is the day you die, come forward and we will kill you in name of Jihad, bla, bla.' Wpns Company Commander grabs interpreter, puts him on OUR loudspeaker and begins, 'Come out and fight you goddamn pussys and fight us in the streets like ****ing men!' Nick relates that some did and, 'We mowed them down.' "

Deaths from "sexual behavior" come in just behind firearms deaths

Chronic Disease - Actual Causes of Death in the United States, 2000:
"In 2000, the most common actual causes of death in the United States were tobacco (435,000), poor diet and physical inactivity (400,000), alcohol consumption (85,000), microbial agents (e.g., influenza and pneumonia, 75,000), toxic agents (e.g., pollutants and asbestos, 55,000), motor vehicle accidents (43,000), firearms (29,000), sexual behavior (20,000) and illicit use of drugs (17,000)."

Pricless and Unbelievable

Cox & Forkum Editorial Cartoons

Gorelick again...

Some people have questioned my parody of Gorelick. Here’s one email:

1. What wall? It was more like a gate.

2. Whatever legal restrictions there were, are now mitigated substantially by the Patriot Act.
Saying that Gorelick's memo "crated" a wall between intelligence and law enforcement information sharing, is like saying a company attorney "created" all the federals laws his company must comply with, when he drafts a memo advising his company how to comply.

This is a classic example of knowledgeable and intelligent party hacks (who know this is a pile of horseshit) duping a bunch of unsophisticated, dumbasses (i.e. YOU) into parroting propaganda that makes absolutely no sense.

Even your "tear down that wall" slogan is moronic because a) there never was a wall to begin with b) Jamie Gorelick didn't erect it, even if there was one, and c) to the extent there ever was a wall, it's now GONE.

Better arguments please.

Here's what the Gorelick document actually says:

Because the counterintelligence investigation will involve the use of surveillance techniques authorized under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) against targets that, in some instances, had been subject to surveillance under Title III, and because it will involve some of the same sources and targets as the criminal investigation, we believe that it is prudent to establish a set of instructions that will clearly separate the counterintelligence investigation from the more limited, but continued, criminal investigations. These procedures, which go beyond what is legally required, will prevent any risk of creating an unwarranted appearance that FISA is being used to avoid procedural safeguards which would apply to a criminal investigation.

part 5 of the detailed section below creates a new rule:

"All foreign counterintelligence relating to future terrorist activities will be in classified reports which will be provided to OIPR, but will not be provided either to the criminal agents, the USAO, or the Criminal Division without FBI and OIPR concurrence."

This was a significant addition to the already stringent FISA rules in place. A huge bureaucratic logjam as I understand it.

As Ethan Wallison has said: "The activities of the 9/11 commission remind us that official Washington can be sorted by degrees of culpability." The main point of my parody was that Gorelick should not be on the panel, because she was a participant in the whole D.C. logjam.

It's a bid absurd that Gorelick was asking questions of Reno, her boss?! Or am I missing something here.

Granted, FISa restrictions were not the making of the Clinton administration, but after the 1993 WTC bombing and the subsequent lucky foiling of other attacks it should have realized that the reigns were too tight.

As the 2002 FISA court of review concluded:

"[T]he 1995 Procedures limited contacts between the FBI and [DOJ's] Criminal Division in cases where FISA surveillance or searches were being conducted by the FBI for foreign intelligence (FI) or foreign counterintelligence (FCI) purposes"

The review goes on:

...they [the FISA rules] eventually came to be narrowly interpreted within the Department of Justice, and most particularly by [the Justice Department's Office of Intelligence Policy Review (OIPR)], as requiring OIPR to act as a "wall" to prevent the FBI intelligence officials from communicating with the Criminal Division regarding ongoing FI or FCI investigations. . . . Thus, the focus became the nature of the underlying investigation, rather than the general purpose of the surveillance. Once prosecution of the target was being considered, the procedures, as interpreted by OIPR in light of the case law, prevented the Criminal Division from providing any meaningful advice to the FBI.

Gorelick herself refers to the FISA changes of 1995 (she puts most of the blame on the Bush and Reagan administration). There’s plenty of blame to go around... but in conclusion, the FISA interpretations were a major part of the problem.

And yes... thank God for the Patriot Act.

Mrs. Gorelick, tear down that wall!

click here

Bush vs. Kerry on the latest Hamas Takedown

Kerry gave unequivocal support:

I belive Israel has every right in the world to respond to any act of terror against it. Hamas is a terroist, brutal organization and has had years to make up its mind to take part in a peaceful process. They refuse to, Arafat refuses to. And I support Israel's efforts to try to seperate itself and to try to be secure. The moment Hamas says "we've given up violence, we're prepared to negotiate," I am absolutely confident they will find an Israel that is thirsty to have that negotiation.

That's pretty strong support, perhaps even stronger than the Bush administration. But the carefully chosen words in the Bush statement are clever: "The United States strongly urges Israel to consider carefully the consequences of its actions..." which could mean everything from: "CAREFUL, you gonna outrage the Palestinians." and/or "Be sure you figure out who you're gonna take out next, cause you're gonna need to."

Iraq as Chinese Water Torture. Wrong.

I agree with these comments from NRO:

link
Iraq seems to have returned to relative stability for the moment. The militia of Moqtada al-Sadr has withdrawn from cities in the south. The power play by the radical cleric did not herald the broad Shiite uprising that many feared, and that was played up by the American press. But his mini-putsch gave the U.S. a glimpse at the abyss in Iraq.

A lot of people see the war in terms of chinese water torture, dying by every drop. Yes, it's a messy war but the larger picture is not so dire as many tout.

Gorelick Shame

Ann Coulter puts it best:

In his testimony this week, John Ashcroft explained that the FBI wasn't even told Almihdhar and Alhazmi were in the country until weeks before the 9/11 attack -- because of Justice Department guidelines put into place in 1995. The FBI wasn't allowed to put al-Qaida specialists on the hunt for Almihdhar and Alhazmi because of Justice Department guidelines put into place in 1995. Indeed, the FBI couldn't get a warrant to search Zacarias Moussaoui's computer -- because of Justice Department guidelines put into place in 1995.

The famed 1995 guidelines were set forth in a classified memorandum written by the then-deputy attorney general titled "Instructions for Separation of Certain Foreign Counterintelligence and Criminal Investigations," which imposed a "draconian" wall between counterintelligence and criminal investigations.

What Ashcroft said next was breathtaking. Prohibited from mounting a serious search for Almihdhar and Alhazmi, an irritated FBI investigator wrote to FBI headquarters, warning that someone would die because of these policies -- "since the biggest threat to us, OBL (Osama bin Laden), is getting the most protection."

FBI headquarters responded: "We're all frustrated with this issue. These are the rules. NSLU (National Security Law Unit) does not make them up. But somebody did make these rules. Somebody built this wall."

The person who built that wall described in the infamous 1995 memo, Ashcroft said, "is a member of the commission." If this were an episode of "Matlock," the camera would slowly pan away from Ashcroft's face at this point and then quickly jump to an extreme close-up of Jamie Gorelick's horrified expression. Armed marshals would then escort the kicking, screaming Gorelick away in leg irons as the closing credits rolled. Gorelick was the deputy attorney general in 1995.

This should be interesting....

Opinion Duel | A Joint Presentation of National Review & The New Republic:

"National Review and The New Republic are pleased to announce Opinion Duel, a new online debate feature from America's two most influential journals of opinion. "

In a place called... ?

You know tuna is great, tuna fish is great, tuna fish is great as long as you’re the one eating it. If your neighbor is eating tuna fish, I pity you. There’s nothing pleasant about that. It stinks. There are certain foods you should not be allowed to eat in public. Or if you eat hem in public everyone else must be eating them too.

It’s like if your guy and your practicing ballet, you either do it when no one else is around, or you do it in a room where every other guy is doing too. Every single one.

No wait, that has to do with embarrassment, the food equivalent there is eating the leftover cheese in the cheese and cracker snack; you do it in private, and if you do it in public you better make sure that someone around you is doing it.

Tuna, tuna fish, back to tuna fish. Ah, cleaning your ears, you do it private, or you do it in a place where everyone else is cleaning their ears. Wait that’s "revolting" not "annoying". The food equivalent here is escargot, enough said, eat in private or...

Back to tuna. Tuna fish eaten alone in a group is annoying. Like not wearing deodorant is annoying unless you do it in your own home, or everyone else is around you has BO. So embarrassing, revolting, annoying ballet, cheese-stuffing, ear cleaning, escargot munchin, tuna fish smellin' body odor people should live alone, or with each other. Oh wait, they do, in France.

Back by popular demand: Washington DC - Where the money comes from...

Great map of the DC area showing presidential contributions by geographical location. Fundrace.org is a fantastic site to get a grip on campaign money perspectives.

Type in your zipcode below and see who is contributing to who around your neighborhood:

In NY until Thursday

Attending a conference on Digital Rights Management.

Photos from the Emergency Iraq Protest : SF Bay Area Indymedia

Photos from the Emergency Iraq Protest : SF Bay Area Indymedia

What!???

VDH Rocks!

FrontPage magazine.com :: Symposium: The Left's Attack on Bush by Jamie Glazov: "Hanson: The fury is deductive-a much exaggerated version of the conservative dislike of Clinton even when he pushed welfare reform, balanced budgets, and the bombing of Milosevic. After all, Bush increased domestic spending-education, health, housing-by over 7% per annum; add record aid for AIDs, prescription drug entitlements, near amnesty for illegal immigration, minority appointments-and there is little reason to see him as particularly reactionary or even traditionally conservative. The poor benefit from low interest rates, historical rates of GNP growth, tax cuts, spectular productivity growth, low inflation, and sudden job creation this month.
No, the problem derives from pre-existing and often trivial animus: (1) anger over the 2000 election and the eroding political resonance of traditional liberalism, (2) Bush's purported anti-intellectualism, Christianity, southern accent, and unconcern with aristocratic leftism from the NPR to the New York Times to Malibu parties. Shrug off all that and it threatens the pretensions of the intellectual elite; (3) and his moral clarity that shook up the world nursed on fuzzy, triangulating Clintonism-whether in the case of corrupt Middle East regimes, 'moderates' like Yasser Arafat, the utopian pretentious and profiteering Europeans, South Koreans, NATO, and what now seems to be an increasingly corrupt United Nations. Whatever one thinks of Bush, everything is now on the table for reappraisal and a wide variety of vested interests depend on caricaturing him rather than adjusting to change and adjudicating issues and ideas on their merits."

Cool Points made on the Note

ABCNEWS.com : The Note:

"Political dynamics to watch from now through Monday:
1. Violence, troop levels, civilian targets, and hostages in Iraq.
2. Will Vice President Cheney on his Asian trip be drawn into the Japanese hostage situation?
3. When does that PDB get declassified and who wins the spin war over it for the general public?
4. Where does the White House stand on 'organizing' the pro-Bush 9/11 families?
5. What will the weekend polls show about the effects of Iraq violence on the President's standing? (The new AP numbers show mostly status quo. LINK)
6. Will pressure mount on Sen. Kerry to be more specific about Iraq? (Look for him to maybe talk about the topic again today, which he did on Imus, where he made no news on anything.)
7. When will the political community wake up to the staggering implications of Kerry's fish-in-a-barrel fundraising, and when will the campaign start to spend that money on TV spots big time?
8. Will Kerry make it through Easter without any Church controversy?
9. Which reporter next goes to a dinner party with Bill Clinton and gets the skinny? (And does Al Gore do his 9/11 visit today?)
10. Kerry new ad shoot. Shrum, Shrum, Shrum, Shrum, Shrum, Shrum, Shrum . . . .
11. Which Note readers will join the Noted Now bandwagon -- realizing that it is the best place for them to get breaking political news all the time at a glance?"

Rice vs. Clarke: Knock-out

NRO Corner - CNN Ad

There's been some banter back and forth about the CNN Judy Woodruff's ad on NRO. Here's my two cents as to why some people are confused as to why they would advertise there?

Right Wing News (Conservative News and Views)

John Kerry - head to head: "
Great graphic here:

Kerry: Muqtada al Sadr a "Legitimate Voice"

As quoted on:
Kerry: Muqtada al Sadr a "Legitimate Voice"
and
News Max

In an interview broadcast Wednesday morning, Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry defended terrorist Shiite imam Moqtada al-Sadr as a “legitimate voice” in Iraq, despite that fact that he’s led an uprising that has killed nearly 20 American GIs in the last two days.

Speaking of al-Sadr’s newspaper, which was shut down by coalition forces last week after it urged violence against U.S. troops, Kerry complained to National Public Radio, “They shut a newspaper that belongs to a legitimate voice in Iraq.”

In the next breath, however, the White House hopeful caught himself and quickly changed direction, adding, “Well, let me . . . change the term legitimate. It belongs to a voice — because he has clearly taken on a far more radical tone in recent days and aligned himself with both Hamas and Hezbollah, which is a sort of terrorist alignment.”

Bodies of Evidence

Original Article:

This is justification enough for me:
"Soldiers lined up in front of them, and when they started firing, a large man in front of Muhaned jumped to his feet. Sprayed with bullets, the man fell back upon Muhaned, flattening him and pushing him into the swamp. The man's body covered Muhaned completely. "

US business confidence seen at 20-year high

Article here: "Confidence among US business leaders is stronger than it has been for 20 years, according to a long-running measure of boardroom attitudes, as rising profits finally encourage companies to start hiring."

International Man of Mystery

Yeah Baby!


Right-click and choose Play...

Getting press...

9-11 Panel Closed-door Testimony Leaked!

John Kerry on Outsourcing

"THEN, SEN. JOHN KERRY (D-MA), 12/3/03: 'Well, any candidate for president who stands up and tells people, as some are, that they're going to just stop [outsourcing] by getting tough on trade or whatever, is lying to the American people. Outsourcing is particularly painful at this moment because we haven't been creating jobs, and we haven't been creating jobs to some measure because of the overhang of the 1990s, the excess capacity that we were left with and the need to sort of burn it up.' (Sen. John Kerry, Remarks At Council On Foreign Relations, New York, NY, source, 12/3/03)

BUT NOW, KERRY AIDE, 2/19/04: ''Outsourcing is a new phenomenon,' a Kerry aide said. 'We don't really have a clue what's going on.'' (Jonathan Weisman, 'Democrats Can't Get Firm Grip On Jobs Issue,' The Washington Post, source, 2/19/04)"

9-11 Panel Closed-door Testimony Leaked!

As the 9-11 panel re-convenes, Richard Clarke describes the process by which he divined the intentions of his co-workers. This is actual testimony leaked from the closed-door sessions of the 9-11 panel

Panel Member: Mr. Clarke, can you tell us how you came to realize that Ms. Rice had no knowledge of Al Queda?

Clarke: Certainly. I mentioned to Ms. Rice the very real threat that Al Queda posed to the United States. The first intimation I had of her ignorance on the topic was the slight depression of the Orbicularis Oris, which hung briefly then elasticized her Depressor Anguli and at that very moment the left Massetor flexed suddenly in conjunction with her right Risorious. After that her entire Frontalis rose in tandem with her Traverse Nasi. Finally, her left Levator Palpebra drooped and a discernable twitch could be seen along her right Buccinator.

Panel Member: I see. You also mentionthat you “felt” pressured to identify Iraq as the 9-11 culprit. You say that the President spoke to you in an “intimidating” way about this subject. Tell us about this.

Clarke: On 9-11 the President took me aside in the Situation Room. At one point he turned away from me to talk to someone else. At that moment, the back of his head was directly in my line of sight. Being familiar with the 1st & 2nd editions of Spurzheim’s landmark phrenology study, Physiognomical System, I immediately recoiled in fear and trepidation at what I saw.

Panel Member: (clearing throat) Ahem… interesting.

Clarke: Yes I am… but I digress. Just above the President’s left Occipital bone was a slight but perceptible bulge.

Panel Member: A bulge?

Clarke: More of a rise really… but accroding to Spurzheim and Gall, this rise is wholly indicative of combativeness on the part of the owner.

Panel Member: The owner?

Clarke: The owner of the head!? (pause, and then incredulously) The President.

Panel Member: I see.

Clarke: Next, I noticed that just above the atlas was a protruding swell, nay, a knob. Now I need not tell you that philoprogenitiveness seems to run in his heredity line.

Pane Member: I’m sorry philopro – what?

Clarke: Philoprogenitiveness. A love of offspring. A hump in this locale is a clear indicator of the same. Indeed, I submit to you that were you to examine this cranium area on the head of former President George H. W. Bush, you would find this same protrusion demonstrating a distinctive vein of revenge for any and genealogical angst, passed down now to Bush 43.

Pane Member: I’m sorry? How’s that?

Clarke: Saddam wanted to off his dad. The bump on his neck shows he wanted to kick Iraq in the rump and make off with the goods. It’s all so clear.

Panel Member: Yes. Crystal.

Clarke: The president turned to me again. I could now discern an augmented pelt along the sphenoid bone just above his left eye. I’m sure most of you recall the famous words of Dr. Gall: “c'est une manière d'être qui donne à t homme une empreinte particulière que Von appelle le caractère”

Panel Member: Ummm…

Clarke: He’s intimidating! His forhead’s a dead giveaway!

Panel Member: Well, we thank you for your intelligent discourse Mr. Clarke. Have you any parting shots – um – thoughts?

Clarke: I can make one final recommendation. What this country needs is someone who’s frontal anatomy makes no furrow or pleat. This indicates a character of divine benelovence.

Panel Member: What’s that?

Clarke: Botox, man. Botox.